First, just what is the next step in your Relationship?
- Is it for better relationship compatibility;
- Is it a proposal;
- Is it an offer for a more intimate relationship;
- Is it an offer for a completely monogamous relationship?
Whichever it is, are you ready?
Look carefully at your role in this relationship. It may not be as apparent as you think.
Here is an example of a good, close look at you:
Are you being `you’ without any restrictions; or, are you playing a role – because you think that is what he/she wants?
Well, let’s explore the need and wants of both partners. Are you always being so very accommodating to the other person – that you are somehow left in the background?
Are you being so kind and considerate, so consistently – that somehow he/she is thinking that the person who is always willing to `accommodate` is the real you?
Now, that could be a huge mistake!
Somehow, sooner or later, you will have to own up to the fact that you, too, have needs, desires, and wants – and if they have been taking the back seat for too long; Then, what?
So, ask yourself – “What is the price for your relationship compatibility? Is the price too high?”
It may be that your wants and desires are being completely met. What a grand feeling that is!
But, if your mate/potential mate is doing the same thing as described above – that is…..`being too accommodating to you’ – then when will his/her desires be met?
So, the balance for both of is critical.
If they are not, sooner or later when one of you will finally speak up, your prospective mate may well say, “Hey, I never saw `her` before. Who is she, really?”
Now, that goes the other way too. You don’t want to be surprised by your partner’s needs and/or desires AFTER a relationship is well under way.
A good example of this type of dual personality is seen in the TV hit show – The Pawn Shop. That is where someone takes a personal treasure in the shop to sell – and when asked what they want for it – they respond in a very tremulous way. They state a figure, and you can see – even through television – how uncertain and tentative they act.
Then that same person is interviewed either before or after the transaction was completed – and their demeanor is completely different.
Which demeanor represents the `real’ person? Isn’t it generally the person who was interviewed before or after the transaction? They almost always seem much more confident and assured.
Relate that to your relationship. Are you acting tremulous – afraid to ask a fair price for your part in the relationship? If so – that is not the real you.
You know, that by exercising your own needs/desires/wants just shows the real you. Isn’t that what you want – from both yourself, and your partner?
The real you is something unique, and marvelous. Don’t hide it by being too eager to please, and don’t encourage your partner to hide his/her true self. It is the true self that you want to share and commit to; it is not the false `too eager to please` mannequin that we love. It is the real person. It is `YOU`.